A Time & Season!

It's been an exhausting week for me. A bit of a downer considering I was determined to make 2014 a year of making the most of every day. Some would call this a resolution, I'm calling it a life change...I don't make resolutions, lol! However you look at it, this week is a write-off! Having all teenagers at home has become more of a battle than a joy. What makes things even more difficult, is being surrounded by people who have small children, no children or empty-nesters. This leaves you feeling completely alone. The last 8 years have been all teenager angst! The demands, the quarrelling, the "it's all about me" attitude, hormones, testosterone, the long list, have left me feeling like a wrung-out dish rag.

It is this feeling that left me with a determination to enjoy this new year. I don't want to finish my forties off in a state of perpetual trepidation. I want to feel energy, excitement, anticipation, life! I want to make every moment count for me and for my husband. I'm tired of hearing what I didn't do, what I've failed at, how strict I am being or what a terrible mom I've been! Over the years, I've tried to grow a thick skin but lately I feel as if I'm about to crumple. Who wants that? I've always believed a woman can have it all, just not all at once. With everything, there's a time and a season! Well I'm in the season of ME! I spent the last 23 years looking after my family.

More than half those years were as a stay-at-home-mom! I did the usual "mom" stuff. Made cookies every week, coupon shopped, baked bread, did laundry, attended school meetings, school games, created traditions for every holiday, changed diapers, you know "mom" stuff! I also did the "working" mom bit and I'm still doing it. When my husband decided to leave his dreadful job, I was 100% supportive! I hated seeing him unhappy. Of course quitting your job meant 0 unemployment and yet somehow it all worked out! Somehow during "pre-teen and teenage" years, life became about them, less of us and definitely very few "me" moments.

With only a couple of kids at home, it's time to look to the future and see what could be in-store for me as an individual and as part of a whole! There's so many places I want to see, so many things I want to do. This is the season to build myself up and repair what was damaged. I am a woman first, a wife and mother second. There was a time when being a wife was first and a season when being a "mom" was #1. I will always be a wife and mom, it will never change. However I came into this world an individual and although I'll leave it with many titles, I'm still an individual!

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