On Leaving Home...



I've started  a new blog update many times only to find that I either have nothing worth saying or was super busy and just didn't finish it. I'm not sure how this year will be but I've decided that I will try to blog once a month, thus taking the pressure off, to update every moment of my life.  I realize that my life is not as exciting as the next, but oh well, what can you do?  There were so many great memories that were created in 2011 that I wish I had recorded but it didn't happen,  So I've decided that I will include excerpts of 2011 in this year's attempt.  January started off with Darren, Chelsea and I in a different country. (I will blog more about the trip later).  It was a bittersweet experience for us.  As parents of 6 children, we expected the day would come where we would have to say goodbye to our children one by one and I would be a liar if I said there wasn't a sense of relief in that statement, lol!   However when the time comes to drop your child off in another country all by herself, the whole "nurturing, mothering , wanting to wrap your child in your arms and bring them home" instincts kicked in.  Chelsea was leaving for BYU Idaho and she is the first of all 6 to have left the nest, as in moving away, far, far away. 
Sure we spent 6 days traveling through 4 states and driving 2,000 miles to accomplish this task.  We saw many beautiful scenery, met many people, saw some strange things but nothing compares to that moment when you have to drive away and leave your daughter standing in a snowy, cold parking lot waving goodbye.
Oh sure I was very brave...I didn't break down once!  I was strong during the trip to Ikea when we were buying all the lovely Ikea stuff.  I was strong when we were sitting in the Olive Garden eating supper and listening to BYU tudents tell Chelsea how great life was going to be.  Heck, I was even amazing buying groceries the morning of our leave-taking.  You should have seen me going up and down the Walmart aisles throwing things into the cart and oohing and aahing over seeing church stuff being sold in Wal
I was strong to the very end and when that car pulled out of sight I cried like a mother who had lost her child.  I'm crying just writing about it.  Who knew, after years of sacrificing, laughing crying, yelling cheering, holding, praying, worrying, it would come down to this moment...that it would be so difficult when you have to let your child go and spread their wings.  Who knew that when all those times, I couldn't wait as a mother to have a break from all the noise and arguing, yelling and fighting, that it would come down to this moment when you just want all your children to be little again so you can keep them with you forever.
I long for those days.  I have made so many mistakes learning to be a mom, that I wish I could just start all over again...okay, maybe just redo some things!  Either way, I wish I could have done better, who doesn't?  However this post is not about the mistakes I've made, so much as the fierce love I have for my children.  Even with my mistakes, I recognize also that we did alright, Darren and I.  Chelsea is a lovely young woman who has strong survival instincts.  She is smart and beautiful,  I have trust and faith in her that she will go on and become the woman she wants to be and be a better mom than I ever was.  After all isn't that what every mother wants for their children...to know that they will be better than them in their endeavors? 
I hope that one day when she is saying goodbye to her children, she will hold it in until the car pulls away to weep like a mom would and then celebrate her child's accomplishments and sweet memories while making new ones from afar.

Pinterest much?

This summer will not go down as being one of my best.  Money has been tight, the kids are working and with Darren's new job, there is very little room for planning any trips.  Having said that, I must first thank my friend Kathy.  She showed me a new site online that has become pretty addictive but also inspiring.  Pinterest has helped made my summer just a little bit more exciting and as a result, I've improved some areas of my life.  For some, this means too much time on the computer but for me, its another way to stretch my imagination since goodness knows, that wasn't a talent I was blessed with, lol!  This is what I've been up to during a rather uneventful summer... 

 My ribbon holder that cost pennies was an old box I found at Maritime Demolition Limited .  Love that place!  I also bought the rod that holds the ribbon with the box.  With a lick of paint, I had it looking shiny and new, lol.  My honey cut the rod into the desired lengths and bought some nuts(he didn't like the rusty ones that came with the rod) to hang them.   The ribbon holder tutorial came from Pinterest.  Theirs is a bit more rustic but since we're re-doing our kitchen and dining room, I painted mine to go with the new color scheme.

While this little gem I've been working on will sit on my desk, when its done.  The picture showing the finished project is the packaging.  However it gives you a general idea of what it will look like.  I found the kit for this at Carsand Mosher.  I'm excited to get my little space that much closer to being my own and organized.  Speaking of my space, here's a look at my little corner in the house.  For those of you who have been in my home, you know that space here is at a premium, lol.  Its a tiny house with a whole lotta people in it.  We've been here 11 years and the chances of me getting my own craft room in the near future is

pretty slim.  Any real estate available here is in our petite dining room where we also keep our computer.  It sure doesn't take much for it to become a mess so I'm grateful it was fairly tidy when I decided to update my blog.  If you notice my paper holder next to the computer armoire, it's one of the items I got as a part of my $10.00 deal from  Maritime Demolition Limited .  At some point I may paint it along with everything else so it all flows but for now it's enough that I've got something to hold my papers in.  The top shelf holds my Stampin' Up catalogues, the second shelf holds my DPS papers and the bottom ones hold my cardstock.  I know, I know, its pretty tame compared to most but hey, it works for me.  Of course on the very top of the shelf is my

travel bag for club nights.  I had originally wanted to have my desk facing the window but alas, it just didn't work.  Can't have everything, right?  Right!  See that little chair at my desk.  That's the chair that belonged to a bedroom set my mother bought me years ago when I was a young pre-teen girl.  I plan on re-upholstering it and give it a fresh coat of paint to go with my workshop.  I had planned on using the chair in my $10.00 bargain picture but have since reconsidered that idea.  My hubby hung the racks for the punches.  This idea I stole from my friend, Lis.  Like I said, I'm not blessed with imagination but I know a good thing when I see it.  The cork board has been sitting around for ever and has finally found a home.  It houses all my clear stamps that are not  Stampin' Up.  After looking at this scene, I want you to close you eyse and imagine that my walls are a dark chocolate, the wainscotting(which is being replaced) is a soft Caribbean blue and the trim is the color of sand.   These are the current colors in my living room and entry way.  Hopefully the kitchen and dining room will be those colors before the year is out.    It's on the "honey-do" list for my very busy husband, sigh! 

  I'll blog about the tasty new dishes I've been cooking up for my family.  Since I can't go anywhere this summer, I might as well enjoy doing the things I love to do. 

"Time is free, but it's priceless..."

It's been a while since my last post and I've become resigned to the fact that this is not my time to blog on a regular basis.  Having said that, I still enjoy writing about things that are personal to me and my family, experiences that I don't mind sharing.  At the ripe old age of 45, I've been thinking about what the next 5 years will mean to me.  Our oldest child, Tiffani will attain another degree under her belt with her MBA and hopefully happily married to her chosen fellow.  Savannah and Brandon should celebrate 6 years of wedded bliss and our beautiful grandson, Hayden     will have started school and possibly big brother to another little Webber.  Hopefully Brandon is going to find an awesome job in his chosen career and continue to be the wonderful husband and father he has proven to be.  Chelsea will have graduated from nursing school and on her way to fire fighting school to fulfill her dreams, lol, which would also mean that she has gotten her driver's licence.   Hopefully, Angus, dear Angus will thankfully buckle down and finally accept that he has to work really hard in high school and put all those brilliant gifts he has been blessed with to use.  He will have graduated and chose his future well in accordance to his heart.  Our boy Camden will also have completed his high school career and have moved on to something that will showcase his smarts, something he has never felt he had.  Raven, our baby, will be as beautiful as she is stubborn, which can be a good thing and a bad thing.  She will hopefully at this stage of her life decide on something which will not be changed after a few months of fixation, lol.  All in all, I just want our children to be healthy and happy.  I want them to find love the way I have.  I know what has been good for me isn't necessarily good for them.  I look forward to seeing them make the changes that will bring them a lifetime of memories.  My yoga instructor once told me that the grooves between your brows are a sign of regret.  I thought that was the perfect name for those lines because I don't believe there are anyone out there who doesn't have regrets...that would be like saying you've never made a mistake.  I have many regrets, something that if I think about too long, would depress me.  The good thing about regrets are the other emotions that balance and outweighs it.  I have moments of joy, sadness, happiness, despair, loneliness, thrill, awe, inspiration, love, desire, weakness and strength.  Through it all, regret is woven in amongst them.  In 5 years, I hope to have a photo album in my heart of our life together filled with all these gifts of emotions to remind me of the greatest gift I have ever known and that is my Heavenly Father and our Saviour Jesus Christ, who have always been my friends even when I haven't wanted to be theirs.  I remind myself when I have been angry or disappointed by others that they are, after all, mere mortals and sometime their imperfections and inabilities are there to help us learn forgiveness and understanding, something I "suck" at.  At the tender age of 45, I have realized that I am soooooo much smarter and wiser on any given day, just as I can be foolish and inept on others.  One of my many regrets is wasted emotions and the time I spent being angry over someone else's ignorance and meanness.  Part of the wisdom I have attained, lol, is that I am master and commander of my reactions.  Why, oh, why did I not learn this lesson years ago, sigh?  It would have allowed me to channel all those angry and hurt feelings into indifference to other peoples' childish behaviour and more time on my family.  Lesson learned!!!!  See, I told you I was wiser!  On to better and funnier posts, hopefully in the near future.